It was all DOING as the beginner entrepreneur: hiring coaches, joining masterminds, researching, learning the tech, THEN my breakthrough…
I wish it had been that easy.
There were many, many more lessons to learn and re-learn.
By the time I had hired not my second, or third, but fourth coach…I was seeing momentum, but the burnout phases were still coming. I had spent SEVERAL thousands of dollars on business coaches, and even had a personal life/business coach as well through the process of navigating where my business really needed to go. The mini spells of burnout were still there because I didn’t know how to truly be aligned….until the year of 2020..
Yup! You got it…the year of the pandemic…COVID-19.
I finally slowed my business grind way down, from ‘burning the midnight oil’, which was accurately working until 4am, sleeping a few hours, and getting up to prepare breakfast for the kids and put on the the homeschool hat of responsibility. As a single mom, in her first year as a business owner, during the pandemic, at home, nowhere to retreat or catch a break, I said to myself “I’m going to take this year as my OPPORTUNITY to make lemons”…and I did just that. I taught myself how to homeschool….all the way from finding the curriculum to use and learning how to teach with the kids various learning styles, all the way to deciding to go into a second year of homeschooling because it went so well. Wooohoo! I found my groove….I even think I found my calling.
During this time, I also chose to purposefully not renew just a few clients’ contracts, to whittle down to the bigger contracts so that I could STOP the rat race of working myself into the ground. My last burnout, from DOING all the DOING at that pace, was in the hot summer of 2020. After several days of photo shoots, website builds getting complete, & scheduling tons of content, I went on a nine-day vacation. I even worked and kept all of the Zoom conference calls during that time and did two photography/videography sessions while there, but still, it felt like vacation. But sure enough, when I came home, it wasn’t actually replenished or fulfilled. Something was still missing.
I then hired a life/business coach and we began working on my CORE, the ability to go ALL the way back to what I felt and dreamed of when I was nine years old. All in all, I did the hard INNER work. I got to my center. I asked the hard questions. What does Laura love to do? What was I made to do? How do I naturally create? What is my natural center of birthing and creating? How do I operate in my feminine role more than my masculine role? That was a big one. The burnout I was experiencing was because I was operating in a masculine workhorse mode and ignoring the signs to breathe in the beauty of being. For awhile I avoided listening to myself because I thought that I could not afford to; I HAD, I MUST, or else…you know, all of the stresses of providing for a family of three all on my own. I had been raising my boys solely on my income for the past five years so I knew I could do a sixth year, I just had to navigate all the moving parts of running a business AND homeschooling, LOL.
So, I decided to spend MOST of my time being in who Laura is and who she wanted to become. I got crystal clear on that vision and put aside the stress to choose & forget what MUST be done in order to dig to my core. This was the only way I could RISE AGAIN: better, stronger, and go farther. I asked questions like “how is my energy revived?, what type of woman do I want to be? How can I improve myself and still be genuinely me? How do I become aligned with my mission, my heart, and still make money? What is my why and is it enough? Can I just be myself and be relatable without having to be perceived as ‘business-like’ or ‘stiff’?. Honestly, I journaled everyday, for hours at a time. I sat in my backyard and absorbed God’s creativity of nature on the horse farm.
Everything that didn’t belong…
Everything that was added to me all throughout my life…
Everything that didn’t align with where I needed to go…
I was in the process of UNBECOMING…
so that I could BE everything I was always meant to BE.
Now, I truly understand what it means to live aligned, centered, grounded, and wow, what a FLOW, and abundant energy lives in me now. It’s truly alive and doesn’t need to be fed by vacation or fast drives through the country (love those in my standard transmission).
What is being birthed from this process is literally everything I’ve always wanted.
I found my husband. I found my calling. I found success. I found peace. I found healing. I found purpose.
What will you find in your search…if you decide to slow down and start the inner work?